When she was a Zombie she never would have screamed at me to "STOP IT!"
She never would have walked into my bathroom at 6:17 am in the morning and asked me to blow dry her hair. And then act as if she was doing me a favor.
And if she did. . .surely when she was a Zombie she would have appreciated the fact that it's 6:17 am and although I'm her mother, its still nice of me to blow dry her hair straight and then flat iron it at 6:17 am when I'm tired and I have breakfast to make and 2 other children to get ready for school.
When she was a Zombie, she was much more grateful. Appreciative.
A lot of people think that Zombies are rude and not very smart, and they smell bad.
Not my Zombie.
She was kind. And she loved her mother. And she was happy or at least not mad when I blew her hair straight. And then flat ironed it.
All I'm saying is that an 11 year old book smart, cute, athletic kid should not be coming into MY BATHROOM early on a Monday morning and catching an attitude with me.
Because I AM CRAZY, and I will go nutso wombat on her real quick.
It's not like I don't know how to blow dry hair.
Trust this. I'm good at it.
It's not like I don't realize that a flat iron is HOT.
Yet, I have never once burned anyone (except myself).
SO WHY IN ALL THINGS GREAT AND WONDERFUL AND LOVELY, ON THIS FIRST BEAUTIFUL DAY OF OCTOBER IN THE MOST PRECIOUS OF MONTHS. . .THE MONTH IN WHICH SHE WAS BORN, THE FIRST FULL MONTH OF SPRING, THE MONTH HER FATHER AND I WERE MARRIED, AND THE MONTH OF THE MOST FANTASTIC HOLIDAY OF ALL TIMES.. . . . . . . . .Does this child whom I carried for TWO EXTRA weeks in my womb decide that she is going to go crazy nutso wombat too?
This house is not big enough for two nutso wombats crazies.
So. . . .
the plan is to stuff her back into her Zombie costume and hope for the best.
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So, I'm not really surprised that things are turning up a little scary around here.
Nothing scarier than a pre-teen kid at 6:17 am, I always say.
Except for maybe, the site of her mother in her pink, red and white striped pajamas with red eyes and wild hair screaming, "I DID NOT BURN YOUR EAR!!!"
HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY!!!
May your hair never be straight!
May frizz infest your life.
Maybe sweet candies and sugar invade your every being.. . . . . .
On October 31st.
But for the rest of the month.And every other day of the year. . .
Make sure your hair is not unruly.
Moisturize! Moisturize! Moisturize!
And. . . . .
Eat well! You can't be eating junk all damn day.
So. . .just because I love you.
And 10 year old Zombies.
And 11 year old unappreciative slick haired children who once lived in my womb. . . .
I'M GIVING AWAY A COPY OF . . . .
CHIA - The Complete Guide to the ULTIMATE SUPERFOOD by Wayne Coates, PhD.
Because CHIA is a Miracle Seed, with miracle properties and we all could use a miracle right about now.
From reading this Cookbook, you'll learn all about this ancient plant, how to incorporate it into your lifestyle to help with things like. . . .
boosting your energy
helping with stomach issues
lubricating your joints
helping cognitive function, and much, much more.
This is really good, interesting reading.
I'm not kidding people.
All this news about CHIA is very exciting. . .but the best part is that it's a really fun food to include in your daily repertoire.
I've been enjoying it in my morning yogurt and cereals. And I've noticed a difference in my energy level and joint 'creekiness'.
My kiddos have been eating it to.
Especially on softball days, volleyball days, and soccer days.
Their favorite way to eat it?
Straight from this golden nugget of a cookbook.
CHIA SNACK BARS (recipe below).
So now. . . .
Get ready for Halloween and crazy zombies by entering my giveaway.
'Cause you need to power up for the Spooky ride ahead. . .
Just answer the following question in the Comments section of this post:
"Are you a morning person or a night owl? ”
"Are you family members Zombies or Normal People?"
"Do you like Chia Seed or Pumpkin Seeds"
or just type whatever.
One entry per person, please. Or frizz will infest your life, and your flat iron will break.
The CHIA - The Complete Guide to the Ultimate SuperFood GIVEAWAY will end October 7th, 2012 at midnight CST. Winners will be announced on Monday, October 8th, 2012. Entrants limited to US and Canada. They will be chosen randomly using http://www.random.org/
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And the winner is. . . . . .
- I'm a morning person
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And now. . .
CHIA SNACK BARS
Reprinted from Chia - The Complete Guide to the Ultimate SuperFood © 2012 by Wayne Coates, PhD. Permission from Sterling, an imprint of Sterling Publishing Co., Inc.
Makes 9 to 12 Servings
This recipe yields a soft, granola-like snack bar, the type you often find in supermarket cereal aisles. This one, however, contains only the best ingredients Coconut oil, chia, oats, nuts, dates, and chocolate. Yum!
1/4 cup virgin liquid coconut oil
1 tablespoon milled chia
1 cup chopped pitted Medjool dates or pitted prunes*
1/4 cup almond milk*
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Optional: 1/2 teaspoon almond extract
1 1/2 cups rolled oats
1/2 cup whole wheat pastry flour
1/3 cup finely chopped nuts (use your favorite - one variety or a mix)
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 to 1/2 cup chopped dark chocolate or mini chocolate chips
*A message from Nicki Woo: When I made these I used what I had on hand, so I substituted dates for raisins and almond milk for soy milk.
1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
2. Using a food processor or a high-power blender (such as Vitamix or Blendtec) combine the coconut oil, milled chia, dates, milk, vanilla extract, and almond extract. Pulse until smooth paste has formed, scraping the sides down as needed.
3. In a large bowl, whisk together the oats, flour, nuts, baking soda, and salt, and combine thoroughly.
4. Add the chia mixture and the chopped chocolate to the flour mixture, mixing gently until just combined.
5. Spread the mixture onto a cookie sheet in a half inch thick layer creating a rectangle. Mixture will not reach the sides of the baking sheet.
6.Before putting the mixture into the oven, dip a knife into cold water and cut the mixture into 4 x 2 inch bars.
7.Bake on the middle rack until golden brown and set to the touch, 12 to 15 minutes.
Disclaimer: Nobody paid me. I said all this stuff because it's true. My kid was nicer when she was a Zombie. She yelled at me this morning, and Chia Seed rocks. Thank you.