I close my eyes
i can touch the colors around me.
suddenly i realize
everything i thought was impossible
my heart sings in world so incredible.
and everything burns much brighter
. . . . .. .
i wanna fly into this beautiful life
i think it'd be nice with you.
into this beautiful life
i think it'd be nice
with you. oooo. oooooh.
That must be how he thinks.
I really think that HE THINKS this life is BEAUTIFUL ALL THE TIME.
He's always doing well. Swell even.
It's a little suspicious, I'd say.
I ask him, "Why aren't you upset? Money doesn't seem to bother you. Why don't you care about this? Why don't you care about that? Why are you so dog gone peaceful all the time???? It's a little unnerving."
He looks at me, and then comes and sits at my feet at the base of the leather recliner. "Come here." He says. "Come sit on my lap." I shake my head 'no' in defiance. I don't want to be consoled. I'm mad. Or ummm. .unbalanced. I don't know, I just don't want to feel better. Or do I? I don't really know.
So I just slouch down, and plop down onto his lap.
He looks at me, and tilts his head and you can tell he's searching. He wants to know why I am so upset about nothing and everything. So I say, "I just don't get why you don't care, that life is so hard. That our LIFE is hard and its gonna be this way for the REST OF OUR LIVES. HARD. It's like you don't even care. Or like you aren't even living this life. Like its not hard at all."
"Well, I'm not sad like you are, but I do care. I care because you care and its hard for you."
And then I just want to slap him and kiss him and hug him all at the same time. Because he lives this joint life with me, and all the same things that bother me and drive me BONKERS just roll off his back and he is all this is a great life! My heart sings in a world so incredible. And everything burns much brighter. I wanna fly into this beautiful life with you. (metaphorically speaking)
And I'm all, "that's great, but can you please just clean up the urine off the carpet first. And when your flying around in this beautiful life please don't touch the walls I just scrubbed them yesterday."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Maybe that's why God sent Warwick to me.
While I'm on this great hunt for peace and meaning, he's showing me that it's sitting right here in front of me.
Right inside. Hope I locate it soon.
Sometimes I find that peace.
In the giggles of my kiddos. Or the smell of a lovely candle.
Or in a song.
I like this one.
It's Northern Lights by Cider Sky.
It's on the Breaking Dawn Part I soundtrack.
Such a simple melody.
Simple words. Be-A-utiful.
I think most things that are wonderful are simple to the core.
That's why they bring so much bliss.
They are only what they are, and that's it.
Like this sam-mich.
It's super duper simple. And it's really, really, yummy.
If you like liver.
Which I do.
It makes me set the night on fire.
Hang out with the stars and the big blue.
I think this sandwich would be nice with you.
With you. oooo-oooh.
Healthy Liver Pate on Rye Bread with Provolone and Pickles
I made this early in the morning while I was cooking the girls breakfast before they went to school. Warwick came into the kitchen, and inhaled deeply. "Oooh. Smells good. What's cooking?" "Liver!" I pronounce. "Oh." He's suddenly not so excited. He's not crazy about liver. "For dinner then?" And I just smile and say, "Nope, noodles for dinner, this is for my lunch." He just smiles, leans down and kisses me on the cheek, and then off to work he goes. See . . . . peaceful. So darn peaceful. He was going to eat it for dinner no complaints. Craziness.
1.25 pounds of raw chicken liver
1 small onion
4 TB Smart Balance (or butter or olive oil), melted
1/2 cup red wine
1/2 tsp Thyme
1/2 tsp Rosemary
Salt and Pepper to taste
1. Preheat oven to 400. In a casserole dish, lay butter onion, and liver. Mix well.
2. Pour wine on top. Sprinkle with thyme and rosemary. Bake for 30 minutes or until liver is a roasted brown and thoroughly cooked. (I almost ate it just like this straight from the oven. It would be lovely over rice, as is.)
4. Spread pate evenly on one slice of bread. Layer with cheese and pickles. Serve:)