Cinnamon Sugar Soft Wheat Pretzels

I was lying in the bed, totally beat. The day was long, the children were bad (well THEY weren't bad, they just did VERY BAD things), and the house looked liked a Tsunami just hit, minutes after a tornado blew over.

I was still in my holey t-shirt and basketball shorts that I had worn all day. Maybe even the previous day, and quite possibly the day before that. My hair was ratty, my head throbbed, and I was really, really, tired.

In walks Mr. Woo, bright eyed and bushy tailed, after a long extended day at work.

Mr Woo: Hey there! (he leans over and gives me a kiss)

Staring at him with my tired-red eyes, I wince slightly, and try to pull out a slight smirk, which I think ends up looking like a grimace.

Mr. Woo: Whatcha doing?

Me: Uh.

He looks a bit worried now. Though he's still smiling, his lips are turned down a bit, and clearly he's looking for some sign of life.  I give him no such relief. I just contort my body in such a way that I am completely lying around a load of laundry that is piled in the middle of our bed.

He moves closer, cautiously. He sits on the recliner that is positioned next to our bed, which incidentally also has a pile of laundry resting on it.

Mr. Woo: Have you eaten? Do you want something to eat?

Me: Nuh-uh.

So now, he's pulling for straws. She declined food? He's thinking. Something is really wrong. So in an act of shear lunacy, or some might say bravery, he asks, "Do you want to have a laundry folding and hanging up Marathon?!!!###!!!!"

I think maybe he's lost his damn mind. Or maybe I have. Let's see, I think. Today I've already had a . . . . .

"Yelling at my kids" Marathon
"Sweeping the Floor" Marathon
"Wiping the Table" Marathon
"Pulling out my Hair" Marathon
"Looking for the smelly object in the Truck" Marathon
"Wiping snotty noises" Marathon
"Telling my nine year old to stop raising her voice at me" Marathon
"Screaming 'NOOOOOOO' Marathon

So, you know what, I think I'm good.

Me: No, thank you.

And I close my eyes and go to sleep. When I wake up, the clothes are gone, and it looks like Mr. Woo ran that marathon himself.

- - - - -  - - - -  - - - - - - - - - - - -  - - - - - -  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

He's sweet (like sugar), nobody's denying that.

He's spicy (like cinnamon), and really quite good for me.

But boy, sometimes his brain can be twisted.  I don't think anybody, ever WANTS to have a laundry folding marathon. Except him, and maybe Martha Stewart.

I love him anyway.

And your going to love these Cinnamon Sugar Pretzels. So soft. And sweet. And easy. Like Mr. Woo.

He's not soft. But you know what I'm saying.

Here's how to make a Mr. Woo Cinnamon Sugar Soft Wheat Pretzel.

Pour flour and yeasty water  into your bowl. . . .

and mix it up real good. You can definitely use all white flour, I just always use a combo of 1/2 white 1/2 wheat  to make myself feel better when I eat 50% more.

Knead it until it's totally mellowed out. Smooth and elastic-like.

Roll it into long ropes about 1/2 inch thick, and dip into a baking soda water bath.

Shape and place onto your greased or Silpat lined baking sheet.

 My children would like you to know you can shape them any way you like.  I would like you to know, no you can't, if your baking with me.

Cook, and then brush with butter. ooooh. yum.

Dip in sugar and cinnamon, and devour. Heaven on earth. (detailed instructions below).

Cinnamon Sugar Soft Wheat Pretzels

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cup warm water
1 1/8 teaspoon active dry yeast
2 tablespoons sugar plus more for dusting the pretzels (about 1 cup)
1 1/8 teaspoon salt
2 cups white flour
2 cups wheat flour
2 cups Warm water
2 tablespoons baking soda
4 tablespoons butter, melted
Cinnamon

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 450.
2. In a small bowl, pour 1 1/2 cups of warm water.  Sprinkle yeast, 2 TB sugar, and salt on water.  Stir to dissolve. Add flour and knead about 8 minutes, or until dough is smooth and elastic.
3. Place dough in a greased medium sized bowl, and let rise for at least 1 hour.
4. While the dough is rising, make a water bath for the pretzels by adding baking soda to 2 cups of warm water. Stir to dissolve.
4. Once the dough has risen, divide into 12 separate balls.  Each ball should be rolled out onto a floured surface into a thin long rope (to about a 1/2 inch thickness).
5. Dip each pretzel into the baking soda bath, let excess liquid drip off, and place onto a greased baking sheet or Silpat.
6. Allow pretzels to rise another 15 minutes (covered) before placing them in the oven. Cook for 10 minutes or until golden brown.
7. While the pretzels are rising, fill a shallow bowl with cinnamon and sugar.
8. After the pretzels have cooked, and are cool enough to handle brush with melted butter, and dip into the bowl filled with cinnamon and sugar. Eat em' up!!!

Apricot Pork Tenderloin (Book Review: Simply Suppers by Jennifer Chandler)

This is how I think the universe works.

When you want something very badly, you can usually pull it out of the ether and into your reality.

Somehow.

Sometimes, all it takes is a little ingenuity, and that precious something is right around the corner. Other times it takes months of wishing for it. Months of searching for it.  Months of realizing that you don't know a lick of French, and are never going to know how to spell something you heard once in French, because YOU DON'T SPEAK FRENCH. 

And sometimes it just takes writing a blog for 6 months, and your wish arrives on your doorstep.

Just like magic.

A brand spankin' new cookbook called Simply Suppers by Jennifer Chandler.

With recipes in it like *breath, breath* Croque Monsier, a recipe I saw and pined for after watching "It's Complicated.", but could never find because I couldn't speak French, and therefore couldn't understand what Meryl Streep was saying.

And, dare I say it? A recipe for Double Decker Peach Cobbler. OH. MY. GOODNESS.

Is that even legal? Seriously.  I thought you had to have so many peaches per square inch. Mandatory fruit and vegetable obligations. I never dreamed you could have more cobbler per square inch.  Nobody ever told me you could do that.

There are pastas, soups, sandwiches, desserts that will make you SQUEAL with delight. Over 100 recipes with mouth watering photos to make you salivate just. a. little. bit. more.

All my favorite comfort foods are in the book, which is just about everything my mother used to make for me when I was a kid. And very likely, your mother too, since there are recipes that span every continent I can think of.

The food is delightful, simple, and made with ingredients that don't cost a fortune. And the 'piece de resistance', the recipes are easy to make. No long elaborate instructions, or crazy cooking techniques, just basic simple good food (hence the name Simply Suppers).

Chandler has other extras like 20 recipes that you can freeze (for when you don't have time to cook),  10 things you can do with chicken to turn leftovers into something delicious, and 30 recipes that can be made in about 30 minutes. Impressive.  I love this book.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  -

Yesterday, I had exactly NO minutes to cook supper. No, I'm not exaggerating. No minutes had I.

Which incidentally, was the day I gave myself to try out one of Chandlers recipes. Either she'll come through with flying colors, I thought,  or dinner will flop, and my review will be ummm. . . .awkward.

Dinner was fantastic. All four of my kids had seconds, and my husband (who ate dinner at work) ate again when he got home. Not too shabby.

This is the perfect recipe to make, when time is of the essence.  It's super easy, super delicious, and super healthy.

You can see a video of Jennifer, learn more about her book, or visit her blog at http://www.cookwithjennifer.com/

Bon Appetite!

Apricot Pork Tenderloin
from Simply Suppers by Jennifer Chandler

Ingredients:

1 pork tenderloin (about 1 1/4 pounds), trimmed
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 cup apricot preserves, divided
1 1/2 cups water
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme

Directions:

• Preheat the oven to 395 degrees. 

• Rinse the pork tenderloin and pat it dry with paper towels. Generously, season with salt and pepper. In a large cast iron or oven proof skillet over medium-high heat, warm the oil until a few droplets of water sizzle when carefully sprinkled in the skillet.  Sear the tenderloin until well-browned on all four sides, about 3 minutes per side. 

• Brush 3/4 cup of apricot preserves over the top and place the pan in the oven to finish cooking the tenderloin, about 15 to 20 minutes. Transfer the tenderloin to a cutting board with a well. Cover loosely with foil and let the pork rest about 5 minutes.
• Pour the pan drippings out of the pan and discard. Add the water to the pan. Over high heat, bring the water to a boil. Stir with a wooden spoon to scrap the browned bits off the bottom of the pan.  Reduce the heat to medium and simmer until the sauce is reduced by half, about 5 minutes.  Stir in remaining 1/4 cup apricot preserves and thyme.  Season with salt and pepper to taste.  Simmer just until the apricot preserves have melted into the sauce, about 2 minutes.
• Thinly slice the tenderloin and serve with the sauce spooned over the top.

Serves 4.

*If you are unsure if the pork (or any other meat) is fully cooked, use a meat thermometer. Pork is safe to eat when it is cooked to an internal temperature of 155 to 160 degrees.

Handmade, Do-It Yourself, Homemade STICKER BOOKS!!!!!!

When I was a kid, I collected.

I collected shells.  I collected rocks. I collected leaves.

I collected Garbage Pail Kids, Cabbage Patch Dolls, and  fish (dead ones).

There were drawers of erasers that smelled like fruit, pencils that glowed in the dark, and brightly colored rabbit's feet key chains.

But, my all time favorite collectible was and still is THE STICKER.

Sea stickers, smelly stickers, wobbly eyed stickers.

I. just. love. stickers.

I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it.  I want to go to the store right now and buy these cute little stickers I saw of these really cute, fuzzy,  big-eyed hamsters.

Oh, don't you worry.  I will buy those stickers.

Why else would I have had four children?

Not to nourish and protect.  No.  That's too hokey.

It was to have a reason to collect needless things, like. . . .stickers.

So, as luck would have it, I recently came across a kid, who looks an awful lot like me and apparently likes to collect. She's been rummaging around the house looking for buttons, lint, and all sorts of useless things to collect.

Fortunately for her, I am the Sticker Queen.  And I'm here to do her bidding. And your bidding. . . . . if your into this kind of thing.

This kind of fun thing.

This kind of colorful thing.

This kind of really wonderful happy thing.


Handmade Sticker Albums
These books are a great place to store stickers.  The laminated pages make it a snap to pull off stickers and re-use in another location. Kids will love having a special place to store their new favorite collectibles.

Interested in making your own stickers as well? To save time and money, try PsPrint.com sticker printing.

What will you need?

• A three ring binder
• 8 1/2  x 11 inch Plain Paper (Heavier Card stock is useful if you have it, but not necessary)
• 8 x 8 1/2 inch Colorful stationary or scrapbook paper (llighter colors and simpler patterns work better for showing off your stickers.
• Glue Stick
• Laminating Source (We go to Mardels, often near Hobby Lobby.  You can laminate for 25 cents a foot to a width of about 24 inches. This entire project cost me $1.00 per book in lamination costs.)
• Hole punch

What to Do?

1. Glue the stationary onto the heavier 8 1/2 x 11 inch paper.

                                          

 

 
2. Laminate.

 3.  Punch holes and place into binder.  Have fun sticking and resticking your stickers.

Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post.

Homemade Garlic Soup - How To Cure An Upset Stomach

It's 12:30 am.

There's a knock on my bedroom door.

It's Shelbi. "Mommy, I don't feel good."

I roll myself out of bed, head first, completely out of it because I had only just arrived there 30 minutes prior.

I convince myself to move one foot in front of the other, as I sleepily go answer the door.

Yawning I say, "Huh? Who are . . .I mean what do you want?"

"My stomach hurts. I don't feel good.  Mommy, please." She stammers.

"Yeh, um, sorry 'bout that. Come into my bathroom and I'll get you some medicine."

We walk to the bathroom, I hand her some Pepto-Bismol, and as I turn around to do whatever it is that sleepy people do, I hear. . . .

"Uh-oh. I don't think that was a good idea. I feel WUUURRRSSSS!" And then, POW. Up chuck all over the bathroom floor. The really chunky kind.  Foul smelling. Rank. Putrid. About 2 gallons of it.  On my bathroom floor.  At 12:30 am. With no maid insight. Only me, and a sleeping Dad.  Who is, quite frankly, only pretending to sleep to get out of cleaning this mess.

I look at that poor kid, as she sits on the side of the bathtub, blue-ish face, languid expression, lethargic movements, and I think, Jackpot.  Today is the day, she turns back into my baby. Today is the day, I get to be her mommy, like the good old days. Today she'll let me hold her. Today she'll cuddle up to me, be as sweet as pie, and realize that there is no love but a mommy's (or daddy's) love when your sick. TODAY I WILL REJOICE FOR THIS GIFT OF A NON ARGUMENTATIVE, LOVING CHILD.

The truth of the matter is, I'm just looking on the bright side. Of course, I don't WANT her to be sick, but, if she is going to be sick anyway, I can definitely see how one might enjoy the situation. And cleaning puke off the bathroom floor, is a small price to pay for it.

So I cleaned the guk! off the bathroom floor, laid her gently down on my wipeable gigantic LEATHER-ISH recliner with a blue up-chuck container, and loved her all night long as she re-created that scene for me every 40 minutes. By 5 o'clock the worse had passed, so she went to bed upstairs. I cleaned her room, changed her linens, and I made her homemade soup.  The entire day was filled with thank-you nuzzles and sad little "I'm not feeling well" smiles.  Not once did she yell at her sisters, and I was quite literally the happiest mom alive.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -  - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Every family has there own cure for stomach aches.

I've heard of the BRAT diet. It stands for Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, and Toast.  I think. I'm really not sure. Clearly we don't subscribe to that diet.

What seems to work for us are two things.

1.) Hot Peppermint Tea.  It's a bit granola, but it works for any upset stomach imaginable. The toots? Got it covered.  Stopped up? Not a problem.  A little runny? This will slow you down. Feeling Queasy? This will go down nice 'n easy.  Okay, gonna stop now.

But just so you know, my kids pretend to have belly aches to insure a dose of Hot Peppermint Tea. I add a bit of sugar, and the stomach ache ALWAYS disappears. If your giving it for the toots, and the gas is pretty bad, it may take a few of cups of tea to push it all out. Sorry. There was no easy way to say that.

2.) Good Old Fashioned Garlic Soup, with noodles of course.  The soup is made from chicken broth, which helps alleviate dehydration, congestion and acts as an anti-inflammatory. The garlic helps fight off the illness with its antibacterial compounds, also helping to speed up your recovery time. Additionally, garlic is seen by many as a preventative, helping others in your family steer clear of any germs that may be lurking.  Finally, we add the noodles, because we love noodles. But it doesn't hurt that they are mild in flavor,  go down easily against sore throats, and stay down better than most foods.

Here's my quick and easy garlic soup.  The garlic cooks for a long time, losing any strong flavors or bitterness, and the result is a mild flavored, tasty soup. 

So what's your cure for a cold or an upset stomach? I'd love to know!

Homemade Garlic Soup with Noodles

Ingredients:

4 Quarts Low Sodium Chicken Stock (or homemade)
1 HEAD of garlic (that's the whole caboodle - not just one clove)
Salt & Pepper, to taste
14 oz. Spaghetti Noodles

Directions:

1. In a large pot over medium high heat, warm chicken stock.  Add 1 teaspoon of salt. Bring to boil, and then lower to a simmer.
2. Break apart head of garlic, and remove skins from each clove. Cut off the hard knob at the bottom of each clove. Place all of the cloves into the simmering chicken stock. Cook for 1 - 1 1/2 hours.
3. While the soup is cooking, break spaghetti into 2 inch pieces. Cook spaghetti according to package directions.  Drain, and set aside.
4. Remove garlic from soup or puree entire soup in a blender to remove chunks. At this point, the garlic will be like butter, but I generally remove it because my children like a clear broth.. Another option is to remove garlic cloves, and spread them on toast and make garlic bread.
5. When you ready to serve, fill half of your cup with noodles, and pour broth on top*. Serve warm.

*If using regular noodles, I recommend leaving them separate from the broth until serving time. Otherwise, the noodles will continue to absorb the broth, become very soft, and start to fall apart if left to sit. If you want to add your noodles to the broth, purchase NO YOLK - Dumplings. The bag must say "Dumplings" on it. They stand up the broth and won't fall apart like a traditional noodle will.

Caramel Chocolate Apple Nachos sprinkled with Nuts

I laid my sweetums gingerly on the couch to change her diaper.

I unbuttoned her onesie, and look what I found. Three Honey Flavored Annie's Bunny Treats. Little niblets stowed away for a future snack.



she's thinking. . . .don't do it mommy. don't do it.


What did I do?

A) Laugh, and tell little Feebs what a crazy little baby she is.
B) Frown, and tell little Feebs that we DO NOT take food into the living room under any circumstances!
C) Smile to myself, and go throw it away in the trash like the servant I am.
D) Eat it, because I was hungry.

Oh, my friends.  You know me so well.  I ate them. They were in my mouth before I even realized it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I need to start making better snack choices.

Like this.  It is sooooo good.

Crunchy. Sweet. Tart. Simple. Delectable.

It's like a caramel chocolate apple sprinkled with nuts, only it doesn't cost a million dollars.

And it's a whole lot easier to make.

And it doesn't have as much sugar, but you'll never miss it.  I promise.

And frankly, it tastes a whole heck of a lot better than bunny grahams that have been stowed away in somebody's onesie.

Caramel Chocolate Apple Nachos sprinkled with Nuts

Ingredients:

Apples, sliced thinly
Caramel Sauce
Chocolate Sauce
Nuts (we used almonds), crushed

Directions:

Lay apples flat on dish.  Drizzle with caramel and chocolate sauce. Sprinkle with nuts. DEVOUR.

Baked Onion Rings and International Gratitude Day

My symbol for the infinite.

My 4 year old daughter's name, Soledad,  means solitude. 

Some people look quizzical when they ask for the meaning.  I think it's because they think solitude inherently means lonely, but it doesn't.  It means 'alone'.  Which is very different.

Lonely is a feeling you get, because you're by yourself and you want others to be with you.

Solitude is a state of being, not requiring or yearning for more than what is.

When I think of  'solitude', I think of God, and the state of being that encompasses this Utopia. It's the place where, if you're searching, you find holiness.  The place where there is nothing but love.  A place that bears only truth.

Sometimes, I have a hard time finding it.

My daughter does not.

When her great grandfather died, she was only 2, but she walked right up to the casket pulled on her Great Gran's skirt, reaching up, so that she could hike herself onto her hip. Then, she leaned over to her ear and sang a prayer to a grieving wife. 

She knew that God was there.  She wanted her grandmother to know that too.

And today. . .

When we were riding home in the car from preschool, and I was very tired and a little sad, Soledad was bouncing off the walls with excitement and joy.  As we reached our garage, and I began to pull the car inside, she stopped all her boisterousness and said , "Mommy, God wants you to know that he loves you." 

I smiled at the thought. I was happier, but still absorbed in the day to day, still moving a little slower than normal.

And then with her 4 year old wisdom she belted, "Hey Mommy! DID YOU HEAR ME?????  He said to tell - YOU - NICOLE - the one he made - he love's YOU, okay? Remember that!!!!"

"Okay, I will," a grin and a chuckle overtaking my face, her positive light sucking the negative out of me.

"Yeah, well, you should." She spat.

Of course he loves me, I thought, to have trusted me with such a precious gift like you.

Point taken, kid.

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Did you know that today is International Gratitude Day?

I didn't either. But, upon hearing this news on The Gayle King Show, I thought I should make you aware.

And because of this ever pressing update, up on the menu is. . . . . . Baked Onion Rings.

Huh.  You say.  What in the hoobly who does Soledad, God, Onion Rings, and International Gratitude Day have in common?

Well, a lot. I say. Read on.

First, onion rings are round, which is symbol for eternity,the infinite. . . . .   God.

Second, these particular onion rings might taste like the most holy thing that have EVER crossed my lips. THEY. ARE. THAT. GOOD.

Third, as if I had to say it, I am soooooo grateful for these gosh durn rings from heaven. . . .  you just don't know.  As well as being grateful for my kids, my husband, God, and a  plethora of other lovely things.

I could go on forever giving you ways all of these topics coincide, but I think I'll stop at three, so you can go bake you up a batch.

Oh, and one more thing.  In honor of International Gratitude Day go to http://www.thegratitudelist.org/ to list what you're grateful for. I think these Onion Rings will be on that list.

Sorry. I fibbed.  Two more things. I am very grateful for these onion rings because they are low fat, not fried and very good for me. And you.  And, they are a vegetable. God and your Mama would be proud. Two more things to be grateful for. Or is that three. Actually, that might be four.  Sorry.  I'll stop now.  Go cook.

Baked Onion Rings

Ingredients:

2 cups Plain Bread Crumbs
3 yellow onions, peeled, sliced 1/4 inch thick, and separated
1 cup buttermilk
1/2 cup plus 2 TB flour
1/2 tsp salt
Cooking Spray

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Place onions in a large bath of ice water (this will take the "bite" out of the onion).
2. Line a baking sheet with foil or a Silpat baking sheet. If using oil, spray with cooking spray. Set aside.
3. In a medium sized bowl, pour bread crumbs.
4. In another medium sized bowl, pour buttermilk. Add 2 TB of flour. Whisk together until combined thoroughly. Set aside.
5. Place sliced onions into a large Ziploc bag and toss with remaining flour. Dredge into buttermilk, followed by bread crumbs.
6. Place on lined baking sheet, and spray each ring with cooking spray.
7. Bake 20 minutes or until golden and crispy. Serve warm. They even taste great a room temperature. Enjoy!!!!

My light of God.

Roasted Banana Pepper BLT with cheese

This question is purely hypothetical.

What if 'someone' decided to get some fancy pants?

And in those fancy pants she decided to build a garden. And that garden grew, and grew, and grew, all summer long.

But then in July, it got hot.  Really hot.  And her kids, well . . . .distracted her. And she did not weed her garden, nearly enough.  And her tender plants that she had once watered carefully, grew thirsty.  And because of those transgressions,  her pretty sparkly fancy pants, bedazzled with turquoise and sea green crystals, started to fade and become overgrown, just like her garden. 

What would she do? What could she do?

Well. . . .she might pull up her britches, faded and worn, and begin to mend and sow a new garden.  She could call it her Fall Garden. She would salvage what she could, and plant new seeds, and tend to them gingerly. 

And for her efforts, she might find a jewel, or maybe 2 or 3.  Precious peppers, that had weathered the heat, and were all the more sweet because of it.

She would be thankful, so grateful for this gift the earth has given her.  Picking them carefully from their branches, and roasting them slowly over a fire.

Then carefully, picking the most precious of beds to lay them on.

Which of course would be ciabatta bread. . . .

covered with lettuce, bacon, and tomatoes.

Then she would lay her sweet roasted peppers to rest gently on top. . . . . .

with a blanket of cheese to keep them warm.

She might do this. I can't really be sure. But, it's an option.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Roasted Banana Pepper BLT with cheese

Ingredients:

Ciabatta Bread
Lettuce
Tomatoes, sliced
Bacon, cooked crisp (or however you like)
Banana Pepper, roasted
Slice of your favorite deli cheese
Mayo

Directions:

1. Warm bread in oven for 10 minutes at 350. 
2. Take bread out of the oven and heat broiler to high.
2. Cut bread in half, lengthwise.  Put a thin layer of mayonnaise on the inside of each half.
3. Layer the lettuce, tomatoes, bacon, pepper and cheese on the bottom half of the bread.
4. Place in broiler until cheese is melted and golden.  About one minute.
5. Cover with the top half and enjoy!

Lemon Blueberry Muffins

My flat iron just bit the dust.

It's the second one in the last two months to meet such a fate.  The fourth over the last 4 years. 

And that darn thing cost me 100 bucks.

So what can I do other than pull my hair back into a ponytail, slap on some make-up and pray nobody notices random hairs sticking out of my head, with no place to go but wild.

Or, I could sit on my closet floor and sulk.  Which is what I'm doing now. 

Or I could sulk, and blame Mr. Woo, while sitting on my closet floor.  Yes, I think I'll do that.

Everything is his fault.

I wouldn't even care that I don't look pretty if it weren't for him.  Admittedly, I'm not breakin' my back. But still, I do like to shower, brush my teeth, and straighten my hair to keep the home fires burning.

And what about those children he spawned?  People expect them to look cute too.  And if they don't . . . .you know who they blame. . . . .me.  Big frizzy-headed me. With my big frizzy-headed kids.

Not that they need their hair flat ironed to be cute. 

They would be cute anyway.

Shame on me for suggesting such a thing. 

See?

Bad mom. 

It's his fault.  He made me a mom.

And now, as I sit here sulking, HE won't even let me do that in peace.

Because this big honkin' Cuisinart Food Processor/Blender thing is staring at me.

He received it for his10 year "work anniversary" salute.  His company sent home a catalog full of all kinds of goodies to choose from for being a valued employee.  Cool watches, fun outdoor lawn equipment, neat gadgets.  And what did he choose? 

Something for me. 

Not for him, who has worked very hard for the last 10 years. 

He bought something for me, to make my life easier.  Something to make me smile.  Something to say, he loves me, and that he works hard for "us".

Did I mention he's been working for that company for 11 years?  And this Cuisinart has been sitting unopened on my closet floor since his 10th year? That's one year of sitting on the closet floor.

Ungrateful, horrible me.  Just stone me now.

So see, I can't even be mad at him for no reason because everywhere I turn. . . . .his wonderfulness lurks.

Don't look now.  Incoming email.  From. . . . .Mr. Woo.

See, I told you. His wonderfulness lurks. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So what am I supposed to do now?

Eat?  That's what I'm thinking.

Maybe a really substantial Lemon Blueberry Muffin would do the trick.

Lemons for him, cause that's his fave.

Blueberries for me, because I'm going to need to work on my anti-aging remedies if my hair is going to hell in a hand basket.

Lemon Blueberry Muffins

Before we go any further there are a few things you need to know about this muffin.

1.  This batter is thicker than your typical cake batter.  Substantial.  Stick to your bones type. More along the lines of cornbread. Without the corn, and sweeter, with big,  plump, luscious blueberries. Oh, yes.  Take a look.

oops! forgot to add the blueberries, they'll be in the next shot.

2. Second, most recipes for muffins say fill the liners 2/3 full. But Nicki Woo says, "Don't stop there."  Fill those suckers all the way TO THE TOP.  The tippy top.  It's the only way. Go out hard.  Don't be a punk.

3. And finally, you don't have to add the final lemon glaze to the muffin tops.  It isn't mandatory. It might save you like 10 calories, and maybe 20 seconds of your life. So, if you must, leave it out.  But your kids might love you a little less.  And your friends might call you names behind your back. I'm just sayin'.

Okay, on to the recipe!

Makes 10-12 muffins

Ingredients:
1 cup all purpose flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup sugar
1 TB grated lemon peel
1 cup plain yogurt
6 TB margarine or butter, melted
1 egg
2 TB lemon juice
1 cup frozen or fresh blueberries

Topping:
2 TB Lemon Juice
2 TB sugar

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
2. In a large mixing bowl, combine white flour, whole wheat flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, sugar, and lemon peel. Set aside.
3. In a smaller bowl beat the egg with a fork.  Add yogurt, melted butter, and lemon juice. Blend well.
4. Pour egg/yogurt mixture into the dry ingredients, and stir until combined. Fold in blueberries.
5. Fill lined muffin tins with batter.  Bake 20 minutes or until golden brown and a toothpick inserted comes out clean.
6. While muffins are cooking, make topping.  Heat lemon juice in small glass container in the microwave until hot.  Add sugar and stir to dissolve.
7. Once the muffins have cooled for 5 minutes, brush the muffin tops with glaze.  Eat.

The Best Homemade Salsa You've Ever Had

I have a very spicy 4 year old.  And oh, is she completely saucy. Just dip a chip in her, and you'll be eatin' for days.

She recently started preschool. 

Exhibit A:

Yeah. She's cute. It comes with the age, we'll move on before you get distracted.

This 4 year old kid, is also a bit of a drama queen.  When she plays dolls, and one of the baby dolls starts to cry, my heart literally stops as I climb the stairs 3 at a time running to save her from whatever ails her.  And it never fails.  Nothing is wrong.  It's just the doll (under the guise of Soledad's voice) crying.

And when she tells a story, it's always a hum dinger.  Full, with a thick plot, some crazy twist you'd never anticipate, and an ending that will have you in tears.  Was the story true?  She'll never tell.  So you're left to ponder the alternative.

Me:  Soli, how was your first day of school?

Soledad: Okay, I guess.

Me: Just okay?  Did you do anything fun? Do you like your teacher? What was the neatest thing you did?

She looks at me with a wry smile, lips pursed, but hinting at the promise of some very interesting tidbits.

Me: Out with it, Missy.  What happened?

 Soledad: Well, . . . .

She begins to tell a horrifying tale of her first day in preschool.  The scene is set with a classroom burgeoning with preschoolers, all excited and nervous about their first day of school.  The day begins as anticipated, with stations, followed by a morning snack. But then. . . .

Something goes desperately wrong.  One of the children, new to the school (she couldn't recall his name) falls out, smack dab in the middle of the carpet, flailing and yelling at the top of his lungs.  The teacher tells him "Stop!" but he won't.  He just continues to contort his body, until he just lies still, motionless.  "It's okay, though Mommy, " she admits.  "He's only playing pretend, nothings really wrong."

"So what did you do?" I nudge her, wondering if she was frightened by this child's behavior.

"Well, I uhhhh. . . .well because he was playing dead. . .I uhhh. . .stomped on him REAL HARD about ten times, since he said he was dead anyway."

"You what?" I say, in a small whisper, wondering why the police aren't on my doorsteps as we speak. "Soli, you're kidding, right?  You know you're never supposed to hit, kick, slap, or touch your friends in a harmful way? Right?  RIGHT?????" I start to turn hysterical. "Oh my gosh, your poor teacher. What did she do?" I say as tears trickle down my face.

"Well, of course, I went to the place where REALLY, REALLY, SUPER, DUPER, bad kids go.  The Directors Office, where there is a naughty chair, and they tell you how baaaaddddd you are."

I'm faint. Embarrassed. Confused. Scared. But thankfully, I have enough of my facilities to call her father. This behavior must come from his side of the family. He'll know what to do.

I dial the phone, keeping one eye on her as she chomps on the last bit of her sandwich, just in case she decides to drop kick me without any notice.

"Hello, " Warwick says as he answers the phone.

I breathlessly recount the days events to him, praying that he'll know what to do.  And just as I'm summing it up, "and I don't know why her teacher didn't say anything, or why there wasn't anything in the backpack, or why they didn't call me to come pick her up, or why . . .  or why SHE IS LAUGHING RIGHT NOW. SOLEDAD!!!!!!  ARE YOU TELLING THE TRUTH? Cause if you are, you are in big, big, big, trouble. They are going to kick you out of school FOREVER!!!!  And then you'll be here with me for the rest of your life, and I WILL NOT BE HAPPY."

Her laugh, turns into a full out chortle, as she gasps, "It's not true!  I didn't really do that!"

I hang up the phone, and I think.  Not funny. Not funny at all.  This definitely comes from Warwick's side of the family.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Spiciness can be quite nice, under the right circumstances.  Like when you have a lightly salted, crunchy, thin tortilla chip in one hand,  and a bowl of this salsa in the other.

I must warn you though, and I don't say this lightly, it might very well be the BEST SALSA you've ever had. In your entire life.  I'm not joking.

So I'm sorry.  Sorry that this is so cheap to make.  Sorry that this is soooooo easy to make.  Sorry that you'll want to make it everyday, and may no longer have time to do anything but make this salsa.

But you better go to work, or you'll run out of money, and then you won't be able to make this salsa. And then what will you do?

Don't come crying at my doorstep.  Cause I warned you.  This can be addictive.

This jar was full 5 minutes ago.

The Best Darn Salsa You've Ever Had

Ingredients:

28 oz. canned canned crushed tomatoes (you can use whole tomatoes as well)
14 oz. canned diced tomatoes, drained (Rotel Canned Tomatoes work well too)
1/2 small red onion (about 1/2 cup chopped)
1 Jalapeno, sliced with most of the seeds removed (leave 'em in if you like it hot!)
1/4 teaspoon sugar
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. Garlic Powder
1 garlic clove, minced
1/4 rounded tsp. Ground Cumin
Handful of Cilantro (about 1/2 of cup packed)
The juice of 2 limes ( about 1/4 cup )

Directions:

1. Stick it in a blender, and blend.  Dip a tortilla in it, and eat.