Easy and Quick Beef and Broccoli Stir Fry

Soon the cavalry will arrive.  My loving mother is coming into town to watch my bumpkins while Warwick and I take a much needed vacation.

My mom is great.  Whatever I ask of her, she gives, then gives some more, then digs in her purse and gives some more. Checks her pockets, and gives some more. Shakes out her shoes, and gives some more. You get the point.

So when I eased my way into a conversation that required her to take an extended holiday babysitting my 20 kids, I sort of erred on the side of caution. I told her we would only be gone like 2-3 days.  Later, I amended that number, in a VERY low whisper. Mumbling, "My bad, did I say 2-3 days. I meant 5 days."

I am absolutely positive that I did tell her five days.  Obviously, she had to know this because she is flying down here, on a plane. That requires an ARRIVAL and a DEPARTURE time. She'll be here for 10 days. I know I told her.  She's not hard of hearing.  I know she heard me. She had to have heard me. Who else would she have been listening to, talking about a trip to my house to watch my kids?

Shelbi? S.H.E.L.B.I.   SSSSSSHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLBBBBBBBIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!

Without any prompting, Shelbi walks into the kitchen.

Shelbi:  Mommy, I talked to Nana on the phone.

Me: Oh really? What did she say?

Shelbi: She said she didn't know when she was coming.  So I told her.

Me: What did you tell her?

Shelbi:  Well, she thought you and Daddy were going to be gone for 3 days. But don't worry I told her she's staying for 10 days. And that you guys are going to be gone a really long time.  Much longer than 3 days.  I told her your itinerary is set for 5 days, but she might as well consider it 6 days because you get home super late on the fifth day.

Me:  Boy, your quite the fountain of knowledge. What did Nana say to all these details? Never mind. I don't want to know.

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On the account that my mom really likes beef and broccoli, and that I might quite literally fry for my slight indiscretions, we are making Beef and Broccoli Stir Fry.  I will offer it up as a humble show of love, devotion and enduring gratitude.

Easy and Quick Beef and Broccoli

Ingredients:


1 pound lean beef
4 tablespoons of oil
1 pound fresh broccoli
1 onion, chopped
1 cup fresh mushrooms chopped
2 garlic cloves, diced
Steamed Rice

Marinade:
1 tablespoon seasoned rice vinegar
1 teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon water
1 tablespoon cornstarch

Sauce:
2 tablespoons oyster sauce
1 tablespoon light soy sauce
1 tablespoon Garlic Hoisin Sauce (can be readily found in the Asian section of most grocery stores)
1 tablespoon water

Thickener:
1 teaspoon cornstarch
1 cup water
1/4 teaspoon salt, or to taste
1/2 teaspoon sugar, or to taste

Directions:

1. Mix together ingredients for marinade (vinegar, sugar, soy sauce, water, and cornstarch). Add meat and marinate for 30 minutes.
2. Meanwhile, prepare sauce by mixing together, oyster sauce, soy sauce, Hoisin sauce, and water. Set aside.
3. Next, prepare the thickener by mixing together cornstarch, water, salt, and sugar.
4. Heat oil in skillet on high heat. Add mushrooms and cook for 1-2 minutes. Lower heat to medium and add onion and broccoli crowns and cook until soft but still firm, about 5 minutes. During the last minute of cooking add garlic and stir continuously so that it does not burn and turn bitter. Remove all vegetables from the skillet and set aside.
5. Add another 2 tablespoons of oil to the skillet on medium heat.Add  beef.  Brown beef on all sides, and then add cooked vegetables back to skillet. Add Sauce and thickener, and cook for an additional 5 minutes. Serve hot, over steamed rice.

What I really need. . . . .

I really need a new computer. And a new camera. And a new back up battery. And a new phone. And new clothes.

Me: Ooooooh, I really hate it when the adapter comes out of the computer and the computer goes,  "Oh, I think I'm gonna hibernate, NOW! And then it just WHAM! shuts off.

Warwick: I know, baby.  I wish I could get you everything you need, right now.

Me: Aaaaaahhhh, you're so sweet.  But that's okay.  It'll just make us enjoy our things that much more when we finally get them. Right?

Warwick: Yeah, it's just too bad you broke the other camera.

Me: Yup.

Warwick: And you slammed the door into those people's car.

Me: Yup.

Warwick: And. . . .

Me: Okay, okay.  I get your point.

Fresh Cucumber Salad

Because it's really, really hot outside. 

And well, it's also just as humid. 

Because I have 50 million cucumbers on the vine, and they are literally growing out of my nose and to my feet.

Because I miss my mommy (though she'll be here soon), and because she used to make this for us all the time as kids.

But mostly because my kids can eat this stuff by the truckload, and they can make it themselves.

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I'm sure this salad would be lovely with dill, or red onion, or *gasp* basil. I nearly fainted.

But my kids can be boring, and all they want is cucumbers and tart.  So this is the version we make, most days.

On a similar note, me thinks it would look even lovelier with some of the peeling left on, but alas those Woodard kids put the "ix-nay" on foods that are green (the color of grass that is, not the color of Pistachio pudding; they're not fools).

Ingredients:

Cucumbers
Salt
Apple Cider Vinegar

Directions:

1. Peel and slice the cucumbers.
2. Sprinkle with salt.
3. Drizzle with vinegar. DEVOUR.

Strawberry Cake with Strawberry Filling and Strawberry Icing!

I know this kid, whose as bright as a peach
who kisses and kisses, and is never out of reach

her hair bounces off the top of her head,

and she giggles and giggles, at the silliest things said.

She shines like the sun on the brightest of days,
and her golden skin sparkles, as if on a stage,
She poses for every picture that has ever been took,
and she'll melt your heart after just one look.

Her eyes are aware and they'll draw you near,
as they slant and curl moving toward her ears,
just so they can hear the sweetest voice sing
the songs on America's top twenty.

She can stand on one leg, with the other in the air
do a pirouet and hold a two minute stare,
her lips purse and crumple when giving a kiss,
which she conducts, as if it's her very last wish.

She may bop you around, for not doing what she said,
but never will her words cause you any dread.
For she'll speak with only the sweetest of praises,
filled with flattery in delicious little phrases.

She's the toughest kid, that I've ever met
-ram her head into a wall and not break a sweat.
Though her tidiness should really be much better,
her kisses, when she plants one, couldn't be any wetter.

My kid's the one who'll always have your back,
Who'll continuously make you giggle,
and make your knees go slack,
My kid's the one who'll make you melt,
cause her hearts always open,
deeper love I've never felt.

Happy 4th Birthday Soledad!  Thank you for being you. We love you.

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Soledad's favorite, favorite, favorite is. . . . .you guessed it, Strawberry.  For her birthday, she said she wanted Strawberry Cake, with Strawberry Icing and strawberry filling.  So here it is, my little Soli's favorite cake (made easier with a box cake mix).  It's super moist, completely yummy, and utterly addictive.

*Usually, when we make this cake we bake it in a bundt cake pan, and use the filling as a glaze. No icing needed. However, Soledad wanted a perfectly pink cake, hence the version below.  Either way it's delicious.

Fresh Strawberry Cake

Ingredients

For the Cake:
Strawberry Cake Mix
3 TB flour
3 eggs
3/4 c. oil
3/4 c. milk
1 box Strawberry Jello (regular or sugar free)
1/2 c. fresh strawberries, diced

For the filling:
2 TB butter
1 1/2 c. powdered sugar
2/3 c. fresh strawberries, crushed

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Grease and flour 2  9-inch round pans.
3. Combine cake mix, flour, eggs, oil, milk, jello, and diced strawberries into a medium sized bowl and beat with a mixer on medium for 2 minutes.
4. Bake for about 30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean.
Cool cake completely.
5. While the cake is cooling, make the filling/glaze. Combine butter, powdered sugar, and crushed strawberries.
6. Once the cake has cooled, place the bottom layer on a cake plate. Top with filling, followed by the other layer of cake. Frost with icing, and serve.

Why I Oughta Strawberry Colada You!

Today, like every morning, when I opened my eyes I was slightly dazed, and a little crazed. I bumbled around in the dark, trying to figure out which tasks I would take on before my brood arose from their slumber.


I washed clothes, put away dishes, and straightened up a bit. I had a little extra time, so I decided to pull out the skillet, and began making breakfast. I scrambled eggs, cooked some turkey bacon and cut up strawberries.

The children slowly began their march downstairs, awoken by the wafting smells of early morning delights.

The entire house was soon abuzz with the normal routine of the early day. Some were getting dressed, others were filling their bellies, and one sat to my right as I brushed her hair and quizzed her on her lessons.

We were soon interrupted by the stomping of little feet that stopped directly in front of us.

With arms crossed, and a frown on her face, Soledad (age 3) announces, “Mommy, You really put too much salt on my eggs!”

“Oh really?” I say, “Sorry, I’ll try not to do that next time.”

She huffs a bit, and begins to walk away, but not before somebody else chimes in.

“Aaaah. Yuk!” there’s a bit of a cough, and Warwick chokes out “You sure did!”

Not entirely shocked that he’d say that, I sit staring at him. I'm brooding.

“Gosh, Nicole. How much salt did you use?” he says, seriously wanting an answer.

“I don’t know. Not much. Or at least I didn’t think that much. I must have gotten distracted.”

“Is it even necessary to put salt on eggs? You do that A LOT.”

“I absolutely DO NOT. And yes, it is necessary to put a little salt on eggs. AND for your information, I cook meals 365 days a year X 3 TIMES A DAY!!!! That’s a whole lot of meals! With those type of odds a meal or two is bound not to be PERFECT!!!”

Warwick: Nothing. No sound. No thing.

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

He then gets up, fumbles around in the kitchen, pretending to clean up.

Later, on his way out the door, he tightly wraps his arms around me enveloping me in his pillowy embrace.

“I left a little treat for the girls on the coffee table. It’s mints.” He whispers.

“Oh,” I mumble, clearly still ticked off.

“Do you want a little treat?” He speaks slowly into my ear.

“Excuse me. Are you serious? IS THAT YOUR WAY OF TELLING ME MY BREATH STINKS, TOO?”

He looks at me as if he is looking into the eyes of his deranged wife of 50 years, leans over and kisses me strongly, passionately, and forcefully. And I’ll be damned if that little booger didn’t tongue slip a mint into my mouth.

I still don’t know if my breath smelled bad. But after that kiss, I don’t care.
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If it isn’t obvious yet, that man has me wrapped around his finger. And so, because he has to deal with my shenanigans on a daily basis, today I’m going to make him a little treat, one of his favorites, a Strawberry Colada. Yes my sweets, you ain’t neva eva had it this good!

*Add a little rum for the real thing, or keep the rum out for a tasty Popsicle. You can even throw in a banana for a killer smoothie.

Strawberry Coladas

Ingredients:

4-5 oz. of Rum
½ cup condensed milk
1 cup of fresh strawberry puree
4 oz. pineapple juice
10 oz. Lite Coconut Milk (you can easily substitute regular coconut milk)
3 tsp. sugar
2 cups of crushed ice


Directions:

1. Dissolve sugar into coconut milk..
2. Add coconut milk mixture, condensed milk, strawberry puree, pineapple juice, and crushed ice to blender and blend thoroughly.
3. Pour into glass, garnish and serve.

Makes 4 1/2 cups.

Why Do We Celebrate Father's Day?



Warwick and Shelbi upon their first meeting.



The other day, the children and I were waiting in the car, while Warwick ran inside the grocery store to grab something.

Shelbi leaned over the seat, with the sincerest of smiles and whispered,  "Thank you Mommy, for packing me a snack for my trip to the country with Grammi."

I looked into her chocolate brown eyes, wishing I deserved the gratitude. But alas, this time it shouldn't have been directed toward me.

"That's very sweet, my dear.  But I didn't pack that snack for you.  Your father did."

"Really?" she gleamed. "Daddy packed a snack for me? Why? I didn't even ask him to."

"Because," I said knowingly, "He loves you."

Why do we celebrate Father's Day?  Because those big lugs are the most thoughtful, loving, and wonderful creatures, who will go to greatest lengths to protect their little cubs from the most troublesome of hurts. Even if it is, just hunger pains.

Take Your Child To Work Day

Last week, my little girls went to work with the Big Dog for Take Your Child to Work Day.  Warwick prepared all week for his guests, but he still looked a bit nervous as they hit the door to venture out into his Work Odyssey.

I keep telling these little jokers what wonderful lives they have, and what a wonderful daddy they have.  But they just roll their eyes. 

"Aren't you excited about going to work with Daddy?" I say.

"Yeh." they say.

"You don't sound excited. " I say.

"Well it's just about space and stuff, " they say. 

Just about "space and stuff"? Sheesh.

Anyway, here it is.  The evidence.  That they really do have a pretty neat Poppa, and he really does take his job (as a Daddy) very seriously.

The first half of the day was spent learning all about Space, Astronauts, Shuttles, and the International Space Station. They made all sorts of crafts, including rockets . . . . .

They also learned about the kinds of foods astronauts eat in space. And look, Daddy even sprung for some Space Age Dehydrated Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream at the gift shop.

 But, as always, I think their favorite part was lunch.

where they ate grilled cheese and chicken fingers . . . .

  

and I ate . . . . .salad.

and the baby had her very first french fry fries, ever.

And then, we went on a walk around the campus to see why there is such a thing as Space Exploration.

We saw lots and lots of ducks.

Even ducks with hats.

And lots of ducks with babies.

And even little human ducks who want to act like ducky babies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4Nz-53aYtQ

We saw cranes that pranced around as if on runways,

and beautiful cat tails in ponds. . . . .

 where fish swam eagerly.

and tremendously trepid turtles treaded lightly.

We even saw a crazy little space age looking bug.

I really hope the children understand the lesson in all of this.

We explore space so we can preserve and protect the things that we find so valuable on this planet; and that, in exploring other worlds, we become much closer to our own.

How to Grow Huge Vegetables. . . . Just don't look.

Maybe the "Lazy Gardener" is the wrong term.  Let's go with the "Blind Gardener".

How in the heck did I NOT see these Honkin' Huge Vegetables?  For those of you who are also as blind as a bat, the ruler reads 14 flippin' inches.  For those of you who are also mathematically challenged, that's over a foot of vegetable that was completely over-looked by ME. Who knows how long these cucumbers have been sitting on this vine.

You can't buy a cucumber like that in the grocery store.

The Best (and easiest) Durn Tacos You've Ever Had

I'm an Army Brat.

I was born in Fort Knox, Kentucky and moved around quite a bit as a kid.  Among the many places I've lived, Germany and Hawaii were the most exotic. 

Well, that it is, until I came to Texas. My family moved here when I was 13, and this is where I've hung my hat ever since. I can sing the Yellow Rose of Texas with the best of them.  When I order tea, I want it sweet, and I'd never ask "you guys" to come to supper, only "y'all" will do.

And when I do invite y'all  for dinner, what might I serve? Probably the best durn Tacos you've ever had.  'Cause in Texas we don't play around with our food.  We serve it big, we serve it hot, and we serve it ooohh sooooo good.

Come on over, to this beautiful place that I call home, where the air is hot, the hair is big, and the food is undeniably the best in the world.

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Once you try this recipe, I promise, you'll never buy that packaged stuff again.  It's so easy, inexpensive, and delicious, you may want to make a double recipe so you can eat it again tomorrow night.

 *For added heat, try adding 1/4 tsp of Cayenne Pepper or 1/2 tsp of red pepper flakes.  The original recipe below has some bite, so add these sparingly.

Homemade Tacos

1 lb. Lean Turkey Meat (90/10) [or whatever meat you like]
2/3 cup water
Whole wheat Tortillas
tomatoes, diced
lettuce, chopped
cheese, grated
Salsa
Sour Cream
Guacamole

For the seasoning:
2 TB Chili Powder
1 TB Flour
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. onion powder
1/2 tsp. oregano
1 tsp. paprika
3 tsp ground cumin
1 1/2 tsp. Kosher salt
2 tsp. black pepper

1. In a medium skillet, brown meat. Drain off fat.
2.While the meat is browning, in a small bowl, mix together chili powder, flour, garlic powder, onion powder, oregano, paprika, cumin, salt and pepper (You won't use all the seasoning for 1 lb of meat. You can store the remainder in a airtight container for later use).
3. Once the fat is drained from the meat, add 3 TB of above seasoning to the browned meat. Mix thoroughly and add 2/3 cup water.  Simmer meat until the mixture has cooked down, about 5 minutes.
4. Serve over warm tortillas, topped with lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, and sour cream.

Serves 5-6.

Tie Dying a T-Shirt and Almost Dying at the Hands of Your Cousin (Allegedly)

Shirt after it has been rinsed, washed in the washing machine and dried in the dryer!

It's morning, and I'm in the kitchen cooking.

My mom, is stationed next to me, assisting me in whatever needs to be done as we are chatting it up.

My children, along with my nephews are upstairs playing around, laughing, giggling, and having a great time. All is well it seems, in Woo World.

Suddenly, there is a loud thud, followed by a skirmish, a slammed door, some moaning, and a pair of feet that pound furiously on the stairs as they make their way down to the kitchen.

"Mommy," Bella says. "Shelbi's throwing up."

Without looking up from my chopping board (I'm cutting up bananas), I say, "Hmmmm."  Which I know is not the mosting loving responce, but honestly, this sort of thing happens all the time, and one can't get their panties all in a ruffle based soley on the information that 'someone is throwing up'.

Clearly, Bella is agitated and yells, "She's in the bathroom THROWING UP, right now!!!!!! Shelbi and Chase were playing on the ground, and then Chase just burped right in her FACE!!!  Right in her mouth, I think. Shelbi jumped up and ran into the bathroom, and now she's throwing up.  ALOT!"

"Oh my," I say. "What happened?"

"I just told you what happened, Mommy!"  Bella squirms quite agitated. And in the 2 seconds it takes me to figure out what my next step should be, the MASTER, springs into action.  With her head tilted at a slight angle, and one eyebrow hitched up at me (in utter dissappointment) my mom nods her head, and moves over to get more details from Bella.  A few instructions are exchanged, and she flies up the stairs to find Shelbi.

Tap, tap, tap. "Shelbi honey, open the door, it's me Nana." Shelbi opens the door, Nana goes in. . . . .and Voila! She fixes it. Makes it all okay, just like that.

This my friends,  is no small feat, because Shelbi and Chase love each other more than anything in the entire universe, but they fight worse than ANYTHING in the entire universe.  And Shelbi, sweet Shelbi, generally has an attitude from hell and does not forgive anybody, for anything EVER.

Meanwhile, I'm downstairs STILL trying to figure out what happened and how we can circumvent, Shelbi hating the whole lot of us for the rest of our lives.  Damn, that lady is good.

All I can say is, "My mom is the bizzy bomb."  And I'm not saying that lightly.  I don't know how she does it, cause God knows,  she is not perfect, to that my sister and I can fully attest. But,  she does love perfectly.  She is everything that I hope to be. She is the one person that I know who loves so completely and thoroughly. She never tells the children she is tired when they want to play, always has something fun to do and something yummy to eat.  She never has to say she ran out of bandaids and her house is never boring. But mostly, she's just never out of time or love,  no matter the situation.  This little grasshopper has much to learn.

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So, in honor of Shelbi wanting to DIE, when Chase ALLEDGELY burped in her mouth, we are going to Tie DYE (get it? Die and Dye?), the quintessential summer holiday craft.

OK, generally when I decide to do something, I decide at the last minute, and I don't have the stuff needed to do it. C'est la vie.  So, this means that I am always looking for work arounds. 

In this little Tie Dye experiment, I used the dye from a kit purchased at a craft store (super cheap - best way to go, I'd say). But, RIT also works well. It can be easily found at grocery, fabric, and craft stores. Also, I have heard, that Kool-Aid, or food coloring (mixed with about 4 oz. of water) can be used as dye.  This I have NOT tried successfully, so if you try it, and it doesn't work, IT'S NOT MY FAULT!

My kit, unfortunately was missing the component that helps make the dye set.  Many people use 'soda ash' (can be found at a pool supply store) but guess what.  I don't have a pool, and I don't feel like going to a pool supply store.  So the next best thing is baking soda.  However, baking soda must be used in conjunction with heat, so this is were the microwave comes in handy. If you're not using Kool-Aid or Food Coloring, you may only want to use your microwave if it is not used for food preparation. I don't know if the effects of fabric dyes in microwaves are known, so for me, better safe than sorry.


So there you have it, I just wanted to let you know, you have options.

What You Need:

White cotton T-shirt or other garment

Microwave safe glass bowl (must be able to hold garment to be dyed)

Dye (from a kit, Kool-AID, Food Dye, or RIT)

Squirt bottle or small measuring bowls (to dissolve the dye into and then squirt or drip onto shirts)

Plastic bags or plastic wrap (to cover your working area)

1/2 cup of baking soda

Tongs (to flip your garment during the microwave process)

Rubberbands or String ( not natural rubberbands - those might melt in the microwave)
What To Do:

1. Dissolve the baking soda into a sink of warm water. Soak your cotton garments for atleast 30 minutes. (Again, I'm not an expert, just the guru.  You probably could skip this step, but I fear your colors won't come out as rich. I definitely would not skip this step if I used Kool-Aid or Food Dye).

2. While your garments are soaking, dissolve dye into small containers of warm water (about 4oz).

3. Wring out each item to be dyed.  Using rubberbands or string, strategically place the rubberbands to create the design.  My kids just did whatever they felt like, but for tips, click HERE.

4.  Place your items on a table covered with plastic, or better yet, go outside.

5. Now the fun part, squirt or dribble your dye onto your garment.
6. Place one garment into a microwave safe bowl, and nuke it!  I microwaved our shirts in increments of 2 minutes per side, checking the item every 30 seconds or so, for a total of about 6 minutes. 
Be sure to keep an eye on your garment, because it needs to be steaming hot for the color to set, but you don't want the garment to catch fire.

8. Remove the item from the microwave, and let it cool completely.

9. Once cool to the touch, remove rubberbands, unroll and allow to air dry.

10. Rinse and/or wash garment to remove any residual dye and enjoy!

Notes:

All microwaves are different, so your drying times be be more or less.

Make sure your item is thoroughly wet, before placing in the microwave. The craft might not be as much fun, if your microwave catches fire. 

Make sure none of your items have metal snaps or pieces, if they do, DON'T PUT THEM IN THE MICROWAVE.

Oh, one more thing.  We used the microwave for fast results and it worked well with the fabric dye.  If using the food dye, you may want to let it sit on the clothes overnight to really set the color.  Like I said, I haven't used that before, but it's just a guess. OK, two more things.  You may not need to go out and buy a new t-shirt to dye, look for a white shirt you have already that has stains on it, that can be brought back to life.

Shirt after it has been rinsed, washed in the washing machine and dried in the dryer!

Don't You Just Love Nail Polish?

SALMON SARONG (Mommy) , PAPAYA PUNCH (Soledad) , ICE (Bella) , and BLACKBERRY (Shelbi)

Bringing families together one nail at a time.

Coconut Popsicles - You bring the coco, I'll bring the nut.

I’m frightened.

No, I’m scared.

Better yet, I’m petrified.

It’s Tuesday night, we’re only two days into summer, and I really think this parenting thing is going to kick my butt. Which is quite ridiculous since I have been doing it NON-STOP for 9 ½ years. How did I manage to get four daughters, and no clue? Don’t answer that.

So here I sit reminiscing about a day that went oooooooh so bad, and thinking how in the world can I prevent this from happening again.

I woke up optimistic about actually getting something done today. I promptly brushed 4 heads of hair and instructed my kiddos to put on swimsuits for classes later. You’re probably thinking I should have brushed 5 heads of hair since I have four girls and my own head. 4 + 1 = 5. You’re so smart. But actually, in Woo World, you would be wrong because I didn’t brush my hair. Problem number 1.

But no worries, I didn’t realize it was a problem, because I didn’t know I didn’t brush my hair. So I packed up my kids, and we were off to Wal-Mart (every mother’s dream outing with 4 kids) because we needed to buy snacks for Shelbi’s basketball game later. The 3 year old screams the entire time we are in the store, chews at least 4 pieces of citrus flavored Bubblicious, and takes her clothes off in the middle of the Martha Stewart Crafting/ vacuum section. Not good.

So, for obvious reasons, we quickly leave Wal-Mart just in time for a torrential downpour. No worries. We are in our swimsuits, and on our way to swimming classes. Perfect. Only they generally don’t have outdoor swimming lessons during thunderstorms. Damn it.

Now what do we do? The children are screaming bloody murder, and their eyes are rolling to the backs of their heads from “starvation”. Hmmmm. Let’s call Daddy. I’m sure he’s missing the children by now.

We meet that cute fella for lunch at a Mexican restaurant, and I let the children loose on him. Poor guy He didn’t know what hit him. But, he took it. All the screaming, complaining, bathroom trips, and crazy haired wives with no make-up, he took it. Not only did he take it, he smiled while he took it. Gotta love that man.

After we got rid of Daddy (or was it the other way around), we went home, took naps, cleaned up throw up, yelled and screamed at one another, made some tasty popsicles, got ready for swim lessons again (long story), got dressed for basketball, swam, played, ate again, and went to bed.

Ufffffff. I’m tired just thinking about it. So what did we learn today kiddos? That when life gives you lemons, . . . . . .you should make Coconut Popsicles. It’ll at least give you the strength to do it again tomorrow.

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We actually made two different types of popsicles. The first totally creamy and delicious, Coconut Popsicles. To the second batch we added fresh pineapple for a Pina Colada Twist. Soooooo good. I can’t decide which is my favorite, but you can let your tastebuds be the judge.

*Don’t worry if you don’t have popsicle molds. Just find small plastic containers (used pudding cups or applesauce cups work well), fill with popsicle mixture, cover with Reynolds wrap, poke a small hole in the center) insert a popsicle stick, and freeze. No popsicle sticks? No problem. Because these popsicles are made with lowfat milk, they freeze soft enough to be eaten with a spoon. So now, you have NO EXCUSES!

Coconut Popsicles

Ingredients:

7 oz. coconut milk

7 oz. low fat milk (I used 1%)

1 tsp vanilla

¼ c. fat free sweetened condensed milk

Mix coconut milk, low fat milk, vanilla and condensed milk in a bowl. Pour into popsicle molds. Freeze for about 4 hours. Enjoy.

Pina Colada Popsicles

Ingredients:

1 ½ cups fresh pineapple pureed in blender

½ can (about 7 oz.) coconut milk

½ cup fat free sweetened condensed milk

½ cup water

In a blender, mix pineapple, coconut milk, condensed milk and water. Pour into popsicle molds. Freeze for about 4 hours. Enjoy.

Creamy Dreamy Lemon Meringue Pie

My sweet baby Phoebe was baptized on Saturday.  It was a glorious day.

She looked like a complete angel sent from Heaven.  I really think she knew exactly what was going on, because she didn't try to take her bonnet off once (which is really rather serious since she never, ever leaves anything in her hair EVER). Not to mention the fact, that she was super giddy the ENTIRE day. She just couldn't contain her excitement.

I was pretty giddy myself, which is odd, because usually at these events I'm super somber, and weepy, and spiritual, and holyish (as much as I can be).  But this time I was just sooooooo happy.  That's it.  My entire extended family was there, and I didn't shed one tear because it felt as if all was right in my world.  I just stayed in that moment of bliss, because I really liked it there.

I didn't even strangle my husband when during the ceremony, he (The Baptist) says to me (The Catholic) at the Catholic Baptism, in the loudest whisper heard to man, "I think we are supposed to say 'Blessed Be to You' or something like that."  I looked at him, smiled politely, and took my baby.

Then, the next thing I know (after the priest says whatever the priest is supposed to say) Warwick in a very loud 'Come on everybody, say what I am saying voice' says YELLS "Blebba Be Yas".

Now to be fair to all sides of this story, I will just say that I am sure that Warwick does not believe he yelled in the middle of the most sacred ceremony the Catholic Church has. Maybe I am embellishing a bit.

On second thought, no I'm not.  I saw the people standing next to us, look at us crazy, he definitely yelled "Blebba Be Yas". 

Well, no harm done.  Even after his crazy yelling episode, little Feebs was still baptized, and all was well and good. 

My kid, I was so proud of her.  While all the other children were wailing, she was just chatting it up to Mama and Dada.  No scaries in her belly.  She did so well.  And, if I'm not mistaken, I actually think she said "Tank You".

Oh, oh, oh!  And the best part (well, maybe not the best part , the best part was when Phoebe was baptized, but this part is pretty good) was when the photographer (aka Poppee)  was having problems taking pictures and accidentally took a video instead. I've been too lazy to figure out the video feature on our camera, and now I know how incredibly easy it is.  So now, I can take video of Phoebe not crawling.  Yeah!!!!!!!

Oh and there is a third best part. There is a picture that was taken at the baptism in which, my sister says I look like a super model. And I think I'll just take that compliment and run with it. Because, even though this is my child's baptism, I love to make things all about me.

So there ends a perfect day with one baptized baby, one new video clip,  a super model picture, 20 hot dogs, 18 hamburgers, and 2 lemon meringue pies.  I don't think life can get any better than that!

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Nuthin' says baptism to me like Lemon Meringue Pie.  I'm not sure why, but I think it has something to do with Easter, the color yellow, and the creamy perfection that is this heavenly tart.

This is the recipe that my maternal grandmother, Madere, used to make.  I never met her, she died before my time, but she lives in my heart and I know she is smiling down on us now.  We love you Madere.

Creamy Lemon Meringue Pie

*Note:  This is very important. This recipe calls for Sweetened Condensed Milk, not evaporated milk, those are two very different things, that are sold very close together in the grocery aisle.  One is thick and sweet (that is what you want) the other is runny and not so sweet. You do not want that.  The pie will not taste good nor will it solidify, so you will not have pie, if you do not purchase the correct product. Proceed with caution!

Ingredients

1 14 oz. can of SWEETENED CONDENSED MILK (see above) 

1/2  cup of  lemon juice (don't buy the kind that sits on the shelf in the juice isle. Either squeeze it yourself or you can buy fresh frozen lemon juice in the freezer section)

3 eggs, separated
Graham Cracker crust
1/4 tsp cream of tartar
1/4 cup sugar

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. In a medium bowl, combine sweetened condensed milk and lemon juice.  Whisking continuously until combined.
3. Add egg yolks, and continue to whisk until thoroughly blended. Pour into graham cracker crust.
4. Make meringue: In a seperate clean bowl (all tools used to make meringue must be completely clean or the meringue will not stiffen) beat egg whites with cream of tartar until soft peaks form. Slowly beat in the sugar in until the peaks are stiff.
5. Spread meringue over the filling.  Bake for 12 minutes or until meringue is golden brown.

Mini Funnel Cakes & Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Right now, I'm reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.  I'm reading it in anticipation of the movie that's coming out with Julia Roberts.

The book is basically about one woman's hiliarious, self depricating, spiritual journey to find herself as she travels through Italy, India, and Indonesia.  She was a guest on the Oprah Winfrey Show, which is all the encouragement I need to read the book.  Sorry Oprah haters.

So far, I'm up to Chapter 67. She's still in India, and her soul has just merged with the infinite. I know, it sounds crazy.  But actually, when you read it, your like "Oh yeah! Of course. My soul is soooooo getting ready to merge with the infinite", and then your kids run in the room, and you think hmmmm. Maybe tomorrow. 

There are a lot of really great quotes in her book.  My latest, favorite quote is at the end of Chappie 67 (chappie for short cause they really aren't chapters - just 3-4 page short readings) and it's after she has "fallen" (figuratively) back to the world we live in with egos and illusions that seperate us from "truth".  Am I sounding crazy yet? Anyway. . . . . . .So now she's back, in our realm of knowing, and she's so bummed out that she is no longer in the infinite. She keeps thinking, 'I wanna go back.  I want to stay THERE forever!' And this sudden realization hits her. She says, God let her go and she slipped through his fingers back to this place we call earth. But not before leaving her with one last compassionate message: "You may return here once you have fully come to understand that you are always here."

WOW!!!! Do you know what that means?  I'll tell you what that means.  If she's already there, then so are we. Hot DAMN!!!  Where do we get the funnel cakes?

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Okay, so sue me.  Today, I served this to my kids for breakfast.

I got this great idea while I was planning my trip to the infinite. I thought, there are probably funnel cakes, snow cones, roasted corn on the cob, and giant turkey legs 'there'. I really don't think one can have eternal peace without a little carnival food.  Plus, well, it is the last day of school,  summer is here, and we only live once.

Ingredients:

1 egg
2/3 cup milk
1/4 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking powder
2 tbsp. sugar
1 1/4 cup flour
Powdered Sugar

Directions:

1.) In a skillet, heat oil over medium high heat until hot.
2.) While the oil is getting hot, begin making batter. In a medium bowl, beat egg and milk.  Add salt, baking powder, and sugar and mix until combine. Finally, add flour and beat until smooth.
*Note: Before adding the batter to the oil, test to make sure the oil is ready.  You can do this by dropping a pinch of flour into the skillet.  If the oil sizzles without smoking, then it's the perfect temperature.
3.) Using a funnel or large ziploc bag with one of the corners snipped off, pipe the batter into the hot oil in a circular, web-like pattern. Start with the center of the web, and work you way out to the outer edges.
4.) Cook the cakes for approximately 1 minute or until golden brown, flip and cook for about 30 seconds longer.
5.) Serve warm, dusted with powdered sugar.